I need a new name for my blog. Any ideas? I started it as a way to blog about my weight loss and running journey, when I was doing one run a month for a year. That goal has long passed and my this needs a new name now as its direction has changed a bit. I will still blog about my running. I have a marathon coming up at the end of the month… a destination marathon but Im not giving away any secrets yet. I also add more about what is going on with my work life and personal life ( although now with work I have less of a personal life).
In my last post I talked about my mom, selling and buying a new house and how the last almost year has changed me. Ive felt lost without her, and needed to make some changes. It just so happens I made them all in about the first 6 months since she died.
I moved into my new house in Feb and I am all settled in now and I love my place. It feels like “home” and that is more important to me now than it ever was. Stability is good when you feel like the rest of your life was tossed upside down.
Work is another part of my life that I felt that I needed to change. I was finding that I wasn’t enjoying work any more. There was too much sadness there and I was finding it more and more difficult to handle. I used to love going to work and would come in extra and stay late etc and the months after my mom died I found it was the last place I wanted to be. I needed a change, needed to get away from the sadness. I thought long and hard and talked to my family about it and I decided that I would apply for a different nursing job. One that wasn’t as intense but I still wanted to work with kids. I applied and got a job at a pediatric urgent care clinic. I was lucky that it was with the same facility I work in now and just had to transfer, so I didn’t have to start completely over. I gave my notice in the ICU at the end of June and by July 4 I was out of there and working in the clinic. I was nervous at first and scared that I made the wrong decision. My position in the ICU was already given to someone else so it wasn’t like I could just go back if the clinic didn’t work out. I just had to jump in with my eyes closed. I was kind of used to doing this by now. It turns out that it was the right move. Im so happy there. The stress that I didn’t even know I had was gone. I am smiling more, sleeping better, eating better, and the best part is.. I have more of a real person work schedule. 🙂
In Nov it will be one year since mom died. I miss her and think about her everyday. I still cry and I know that the person I was before she died is not the same person that I am now. My mom gave me my stand mixer a few christmases ago. I named it Martha ( after Martha Stewart). I used to bake all the time, along with running it was my passion. Ive continued to run but Ive stopped baking. Im not sure why, it was something I enjoyed so much before. I would bake things and give them to mom or take pics and show them to her and she would respond with some corny comment about how good it looked. Im hoping that now that I’m in a better place I’ll get the baking itch back.
Im lucky to have wonderful friends and family who understand and support all the craziness that Ive had this last year. Am I done making big life changes? I hope so. Im ready to settle down and finally feel content.